TGIF – Teens Releasing Anxiety in a Healthy Manner


Teens Releasing Anxiety in a Healthy Manner-

From Dr. Michele Finneran-

“When a teen becomes overwhelmed and he or she has too much pressure, it may feel like no one can relate and the world is crashing down on him/her. It is so important to understand how some teens cope with their stress in a healthy way and unhealthy….so parents may be more aware and better informed.

Teens that have maladaptive ways of coping may begin to do the following:

– Cutting or Self-Harm
– Isolating self from family and friends
– Start experimenting with drugs and
alcohol, in order to numb what their
– Begin to lie, even about the smallest of

These are some maladaptive, coping behaviors that parents or guardians need to be aware of….as underlying issues such an paralyzing anxiety or depression can accompany these behaviors.

Some HEALTHY ways that teens can cope with stress or pressure are the following:

– Open communicating with family or a
best friend
– Music
– Sports
– Arts and Crafts
– Therapeutic cleansing and cleaning of
their space

To name a few, the above examples are healthy outlets.

In addition, some teens may need something tactile, that they can rub or touch to calm down. In my practice, I have soothing rocks that help teens…. when they rub them, the act of repetitious movement can help them feel settled. Also, having a positive phrase or mantra on the soothing rock can visually remind them of a positive affirmation.

If your teen is suffering from paralyzing anxiety and he/she is using maladaptive coping methods, please don’t hesitate to reach out to Dr. Michele Finneran with Vecc and Associates for a consultation to suggest some anxiety-reducing techniques.”


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How to be a Supportive Friend when someone is going through Domestic Violence?

From Dr. Michele Finneran-

“How to Be a Supportive Friend When Someone is Going Through Domestic Violence?

When people are faced with difficult situations, the result can be friends needing each other. Being a helpful friend, when someone is suffering through domestic violence, is imperative to understand. In some cases, friends who are assisting with their victim/friend can often times feel like THEY don’t have the resources needed to properly assist them. In some cases, friends become burnt out when the domestic abuse victim vacillates back and forth beyond leaving or staying in the abusive relationship. Abandoning your friend/domestic abuse victim during this hardship is deemed unhelpful to the victim. Many of these friends (that are assisting their friend/domestic abuse victim) need replenishment and boundaries for themselves.

The most important thing that a friend can do is to help his or her friend/domestic abuse victim find a therapist or counselor with formal support and training! This is letting the friend/domestic abuse victim know that he/she is not abandoning them, but professional help is needed at that point. Setting compassionate boundaries with a friend/domestic abuse victim will diminish any burn out or abandonment that the friend might be experiencing.

If you know someone suffering from a domestic abuse/domestic violence situation, please encourage your that person to call for formal support, such as a therapist. Dr. Michele Finneran with Vecc and Associates is equipped with such training and strategies to help domestic abuse victims and she will meet them where they are at emotionally. We look forward to helping in support through counseling.”


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How do you know if you’re making progress in your life?

Mid-Week Check In!

How Do You Know If You’re Making Progress in Your Life?

From Dr. Michele Finneran-

“To know where you have been in the past, to where you are now and to where you want to be are great assessment tools to see if you’ve become stagnant or if you’ve moved in upward direction. Within the different spheres of your life, have you thought about making upgrades? It’s an important question, because you want to change for the better and enhance yourself. “How I was a year ago” is not how I am today. We are creatures that are continously in flex, sometimes for the positive and sometimes for the not-so-positive.

Progress happens not when you compare yourself to other people, but when you compare yourself to yourself! Comparing yourself to others will essentially make you feel bad about yourself. For example, there will always be someone more successful, more handsome or prettier, etc. Again, don’t fall to this trap…because it’s a set up to make you feel like you have less worth. Think and make your own expectations (that can realistically be attained) and create a visual image of where you see yourself in the future. If you have become stagnant in your life and you are in need of change for the better, please contact Dr. Michele Finneran with Vecc & Associates to begin your journey of progress.”


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What is a toxic relationship?

“How to Tell If You’re In a a Toxic Relationship and What to Do About It”- By Jamie Ducharme, Time Magazine

Article Synopsis From Dr. Michele Finneran-

“What is a toxic relationship?

Dr. Lillian Glass is a California-based communication and psychology expert, who says she coined the term in her 1995 book, Toxic People. Dr. Glass defines a toxic relationship as “any relationship (between people who don’t support each other) where there is conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there is competition, where there is disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness.”

Some of the signs that can make you realize (before it’s too late) that you are in a toxic relationship are:

– constantly being unhappy
– a pattern of sarcasm
– verbal abuse
– manipulation

Toxicity does not happen over night, it is a time telling pattern.

What to do if your in a toxic relationship?

If any of those red flags sound familiar, it’s time to take action! If you feel that you’re in physical danger, you may need to involve the authorities. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is also available for 24/7 guidance at 1-800-799-7233. Some people involved in toxic relationships want to work it out to see where the toxicity stems from…and this can be mainly from childhood. However, some people just want out of their toxic relationship.

If you are questioning if your relationship is toxic, reach out to Dr. Michele Finneran with Vecc & Associates for a consultation.”


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TGIF – The Freedom of Forgiveness

From Dr. Michele Finneran-

“TGIF – The Freedom of Forgiveness”

Many people have longstanding hurt that was caused by someone else or a loved one. This can obviously put strain on that relationship. In some cases, the person who caused pain might even be deceased and you are unable to get any type of closure from him / her.

The freedom of forgiveness is not so much about the other person who trespassed against you, but about freeing yourself with self-forgiveness and / or freeing yourself from the angered restraints of not being able to forgive in general. Forgiving is not the same as finding acceptance in someone else’s wrongdoing, rather it’s about letting go of the stored anger and freeing yourself from resentment and burden that person has caused you.

Getting closure from someone might be ideal, but not always possible. It takes work on yourself to find that closure within and learn to release that excess baggage from your life. This can be a process that may take time to achieve, but it is well worth it in the end! It can result in feeling less weighted down and less burdened overall. The emotional scars will still be there, but they will not affect you in a way that can threaten your physical and/or mental health. If you want to forgive someone, but are struggling with how to do so, reach out to Dr. Finneran at Vecc & Associates….in order to get the direction and support needed to free yourself.”


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Therapists need to Know

From Dr. Michele Finneran-

“The type of therapist needed to work with a domestic violence victim or survivor is very specific by nature. It is important, for the survivor, to have a therapist with knowledge, background in the field, credentialing and education. The type of therapist needed is also important to a survivor…what survivors thought to be unhelpful was a therapist who was passive in nature and that would “yes ma’am”the survivor. This was deemed not helpful for the survivor. The type of therapist which was deemed helpful is some who is compassionate and empathetic, as well as a therapist who allowed the victim / survivor to process the story in its entirety. This may be the first time that individual is able to voice the events that lead up to the abuse.

Survivors found it unhelpful when the therapist would want to move right into solutions for dissolving the relationship, when the victim might not have been ready to go there. Therapists that were most productive allowed the client to share the story and with empathy and would challenge some distorted thinking that survivor may have had about the relationship. Survivors liked when the therapist would give them homework or have them do some type of work on themselves outside the therapy session.

It was also helpful for therapist to assign bibliography therapy and give survivors helpful and insightful resources, such as books or articles to independently gain knowledge. This post is not addressing the therapeutic intervention, but the TYPE of therapist that is useful and most helpful to a survivor / victim. If you are interested in taking the first steps in healing from intimate partner violence, please contact Dr. Michele Finneran with Vecc & Associates and speak directly to her in scheduling therapeutic sessions.”


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